Archive for February, 2013

Defining Love

Thursday, February 14th, 2013

DidYouKnowAnother Valentine’s Day, another single girl post. I’ve written about wanting a guy friend, living every day like Valentine’s Day, heck I even created a focus group screener to find my ideal man. Sure the single train is fun, but it’s also lonely. What’s even worse about this boxcar, is in order to be truly happy, there’s nothing you can do about it.

By your mid-20’s friends start to have serious long-term relationships, get engaged/married or have babies. For those unattached, family and friends can be a constant reminder of singledom and its sorrows. I’ve heard friends say they “will find love this year.” Is love something you find? Love isn’t like finding new shoes or a vintage couch. To me, love is something that happens when you least expect it. Love is something you can’t force, no matter how much you want it. Loving the idea of love, isn’t love, it’s desperation. (cough, women on The Bachelor, cough)

I’ve been single for six years. What do I know about love? Lots, or so I think. What I experienced as love, I knew in my heart wasn’t. I’ve dated. I’ve been dumped. I’ve done the dumping. Why? Because when you feel it, you know. Friends in successful relationships, marriages or partnerships have described the magnetic attraction felt when you meet “the one.” I’m not saying to analyze every date as future husband or wife material, but if you aren’t feeling it, what’s the point?

A couple years back I wrote about settling down. Through observation (or everyone blasting their relationships on the Web) I believe people now reach a point where they stop searching for true love and settle for the next willing partner. Why is this? Why are we so afraid of our biological clock that we sacrifice our heart?

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t lonely. Just like most women, I want companionship. I want a life partner, someone to have my back through thick and thin. I want a man who sends me cat videos and political articles, who thinks I’m beautiful even with morning hair, who appreciates my gardening, giving back and great sense of humor. I want someone to love from now until death, and even in death we will love each other to eternity.

Jesus Christ, why am I crying? (checks menstrual calendar) Ok, that explains it…

Anyways, I guess the point of my post is to remind everyone to love with all your heart. Whether you’re single, steady or settled for 50 years, you have to give love to get love. Love isn’t a goal you set in your calendar. It’s not something you *hope* happens later in the relationship. Love is an emotion so powerful, even Webster can’t define it. So until you feel it, keep loving. Keep searching. Don’t give up. If you already feel it, don’t stop giving it. When you’re gone, let your love live on.

Happy singles awareness day, from me, my cat and a bottle of white.

♥ BB