Archive for January, 2013

Dear Bess

Wednesday, January 23rd, 2013

Beyond thankful for friends like Brad. He sent me this letter from Hawaii and it was so nice, how could I not post it!?

So I spent $4 on the pen I’m using to write this e-mail with. Yup. I am handwriting this one, and will type it out unedited once I land in Hawaii, as I always do on flights. I hate flying. It’s such a waste of time, albeit a necessary one. Everybody around me is sleeping. Those lucky bastards. I can’t sleep with my legs all bent and my head breathing and rebreathing the same air over and over and over.

This is actually the third consecutive time I’ve forgotten to pack a pen on my flight home, making this the third time I’ve had to pay $4 for a stupid pen from a LAX store. It’s another necessary waste; I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t write on flights.

This flight has been different though. For the first time ever, I have six people to catch up with. Usually, I have one or two folks at the forefront of my mind, but I now have several. I’m writing to you first because I just saw you, and felt compelled to write you a few words that you won’t really need to read.. but I’ll write them anyway with my $4 pen.

Bess, I don’t know anybody like you, and I mean that in a good way. Simmer down, child, this is NOT a love letter. Hah! I’m just saying that you have no need to worry about or work hard finding a decent man. NO. WAIT. “Decent” is such a lame word, and certainly not good enough. It implies settling, and you are not a settler. Let me rephrase: You have no need to worry about or work hard finding a fucking amazing man.

Yes, that sounds better.

I say, stay focussed on doing what you enjoy, Bess. Keep pursuing all the things you want, and that fucking amazing man will come around along the way. That’s how life works sometimes. The people you love most appear when you’re busy doing the things you love most.

Let’s state the facts you already know: You’re passionate about the things you care about, you’re funny as hell (just thinking about the word “slay” makes me laugh my ass off), and you’re as beautiful as I am disappointing to my family (they’re picking me up from the airport only out of obligation, I tell you). Best of all, you’re so fiercely independent in your thoughts, your fashion, and your poise–seriously, what’s not to love about you?

If by chance some guy takes offense to your ketchup addiction or the way you whore yourself for back-rubs, forget him. There will be plenty more where he came from, and provided you choose wisely, they will get smarter and classier with age. Simply put, there’s more to you than you know, Bess, and any fucking amazing man will realize and respect that.

Heh. I remember 4/30/11 quite fondly. (I have a penchant for memorizing dates.) It was the first time I met you, and we went to see Prince at the Forum. I saw him 4 or 5 times during his residency here, but that show was my favorite, in part because I was with great company, and because everything was electric that night.

Afterward, Corey and Mercado asked me what happened, expecting some juicy gossip, but all I said was, “I had a fantastic time. I let Bess be Bess.”

Make sure that no matter what, you do the same.

OMG. The girl sitting next to me looks like a hooker, and I’m talkin’ the expensive kind! I’m sooo gonna ask her out right now.

Well, she just slapped my neck (dunno how she missed my face). Lesson learned: Don’t ask a woman if she is “taking the night off from hooking” while asking her out. I’m such an ass. Hey, this bruise looks like a hickey! WIN!!!

I’m sorry, what were we talking about? Oh yeah, the Prince show aftermath. Well, contrary to what the gossipers thought, I didn’t ask you to the show because I wanted something from you. I just thought you’d be someone awesome to know. And you know what? I was right. And I still feel just as proud and just as happy to know you, exactly as you are, Bess.

You are fucking amazing, man.

See you soon,


Hey guys, ladies still like letters. Heck, I’ll take a letter over a text, tweet or email any day.

Brad Kageno, you are a gem! Well, except maybe to the hooker on your flight…

♥ BB